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Real Motherhood

“The real mother, her heart full of love for her son, said to the king, ‘Please, Your Majesty, don’t kill the child! Give it to her!’ But the other woman said, ‘Don’t give it to either of us; go on and cut it into two’”
— I Kings 3:26

The second Sunday of May is traditionally dedicated in commemoration of Mother’s Day. To reflect on the meaning of motherhood, I have two stories to tell.  

An OFW Story

The first is about my encounter with Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW’s) in Singapore. Sometime ago, I had the chance to visit Singapore on my way to Indonesia where I gave a lecture presentation in a theological consultation held at Duta Wacana University in Yogjakarta.

Since my flight was still scheduled the next day, I went to the people’s park in downtown Singapore hopefully to meet fellow Filipinos. I was told that OFW’s usually congregate at the people’s park on Sundays. I was very much surprise to see some of my town mates gathered around conversing at the park. They, too, were very much surprised to see me. Some of them were even my relatives. Most of them were mothers! They left their children back home to work as domestic helpers in Singapore.

I patiently and carefully listened to each of them as they enthusiastically shared their experiences, problems, and difficulties. How they felt so homesick, being away from their respective families. How their employers treated them. Some of them had beautiful experiences, but most of them claimed to have experienced hardships. They had to finish their contract, though, because as they said, they wanted a brighter future for their children.

There was one mother of three from Pangasinan who could not hold her tears as she shared with us her story. She could not accept that her employers’ sons whom she was taking care in Singapore were very healthy, while her sons back home were very sickly. No one seemed to be taking care of them. She just came from a short visit in the Philippines then.

She knew that her sons needed her so much to look after them, but unfortunately she had to leave them in order to earn a living for their future. She realized, however, that ironically she was actually sacrificing their future in the process. She painfully discovered that at that stage of her sons’ development they needed her more than they needed money. She realized that money is not everything in life.

As I continued listening to the mothers, I began to ask myself. What is in a mother’s heart that would give her strength to face all odds for the sake of her children? I would say the spirit compassion. 

Story of Two Mothers

The other story is in the Bible, particularly I Kings 3:16-28. This story would show us the wisdom of King Solomon. About two mothers were prostitutes. They were living in one house. Each of them gave birth to a baby boy, but one of them accidentally rolled over her son that led to his death. Then, at night, while the other mother was sleeping she exchanged her dead son to the other mother’s child.

Now, both mothers were claiming that the living child was hers. No one would accept the dead child as her own. Therefore, the case was brought before King Solomon. To decide on the case, the King ordered to cut and divide the living child between the two mothers.

The Scripture says that when they were about to kill the child, the real mother said to the King, “Please, Your Majesty, don’t kill the child! Give it to her!” But the other mother said, “Don’t give it to either of us, go on and cut it into two.” Then, King Solomon said, “Don’t kill the child! Give it to the first woman – she is its real mother.”

This is what we call wisdom. Wisdom is a lesson learned from life. How did King Solomon know the real mother? Through life experiences, King Solomon knew that to be a mother is not just giving birth to a child. To be a real mother, one must have compassion for her child. King Solomon’s decision would show to us that any woman who has no compassion, even to a child she claims to be her own, does not deserve to be a mother.

This is an important lesson for us, especially in our time wherein there is an alarming rise of cases of child abuse and molestation, and even parricide. Indeed, to be a real mother is to have compassion for the weak and the powerless. Happy Mother’s Day!#

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